Selfless to Selfish

October 6, 2008

Its been a while… I know, I appologize!!! Anyway, at commuity group last week we talked about what we think God thinks about adoption, taking care of the poor and how we spend our money ( i think….). I’ve been thinking a lot about the adoption aspect of that, because there really could be days of conversation and thought about all of them. I honestly think that God may not be too happy with how adoption has played out. I think, as we have done with so many things, we have made adoption about ourselves and not about taking care of God’s children. We have taken a complete selfless act and turned it into the ultimate selfishness.

There are obviously exceptions to the rule, but how many times do we hear of a family adopting a child simply because the child needs to be taken care of? Not because they’ve always wanted a child, not because they are having problems conceiving, not because they want a sister or brother for their other child. Just because there is a need. It has become something we do to fulfill OUR needs, not the children’s. We even get to pick out the cutest one, or the one with the smartest parents. The percentage of adoptions from infancy to early and late childhood drops dramatically. Why? Because we want babies to raise, not some kid who’s already grown up. I believe if adoption worked the way it was intended to work, and we fulfilled this need the way we were supposed to, there would be no need for permanent foster care. I believe if we took care of the children the way we are supposed to, the instant a child is orphaned there would be a new place for it to call home, to be welcomed, to be loved… regardless of its age, gender, “aesthetics”, iq, etc.

If you know me extremely well, you’ll know that my ideas on this next subject have changed over the years… but thats a different conversation. But I find it extremely dis-heartening the amount of money we spend trying to force conception because we want our OWN child. Every single life is pre-ordained, so I know that children conceived with medical assistance are no less God’s own than naturally conceived ones, but I have a problem with the fact that we believe we can create life outside of Gods plan. I’m sorry to inform you but we can’t. There’s no amount of trying or anything else that will create life any quicker than the Lord has ordained.

I believe adoption is a beautiful thing. My nephew is adopted. Were my brother and his wife completely selfless in the adoption? No, they weren’t. Am I completely selfless in being excited over my nephew and wanting them to adopt him? No, I’m not. Don’t get me wrong about all of this. I believe in every adoption there has to be some amount of dying to ourselves but I think the whole process has become completely disoriented and refocused on the parents and their needs, not the children’s. Can the Lord use selfishness to take car of his babies…. of course. But my honest thoughts on the answer to God’s thoughts about adoption today is that, yes… I think He rejoices every time a child is adopted, but I also think he’s probably a little more than disappointed in what we have made it, and whom we have made it about.

I could go on. I will not. Thanks for reading!!! Let me know your thoughts.


One Response to “Selfless to Selfish”

  1. Ryan Says:

    I like this entry a lot. It’s something I’ve known about but always glassed over. Especially like…
    “But I find it extremely dis-heartening the amount of money we spend trying to force conception because we want our OWN child.”

    The way I see it, it’s full circle. We spend all this time trying to have our own kids, then when we can’t we spend a lot of money, then when we still can’t, we get a baby that is just right. And then we complain about crime from children unloved, teenage abortion, people who live their lives on welfare, etc. The call to the Christian is to love, that has direct impact on the health of our world as a whole.

    I like to think I’ve got it down because I try my hardest to love on the untouchables in our world. This pushed me even futher in thinking I should see like Christ does…even some baby I hope to adopt one day.

    Good call to love everyone…

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