tiny hope

April 21, 2009

tiny fingers curled
on the tiny hand that
rests on my chest

i just stare in awe
and hold my breath
to listen to the rhythm of hers

meclem

sweet clementine. my mom caught me staring at her the other night, completely wrapped up in her tiny face, and asked me what was wrong. i was suprised at the question but it made sense. i was looking at her, and wishing already that she didnt have to grow up. that we could just take care of her forever. that she would never have to get hurt, or struggle. that she wouldnt have to deal with boys or insecurities or worry about a job. i cant explain how much i love her already. its weird.  i cant begin to imagine a parents love.

at the same time that i was wishing she never had to grow up, i was also excited for her too. i hope she dreams big! i hope she has lofty hopes and aspirations like her mom and aunt. i hope we can foster her curiosity and creativity like our parents did ours. i hope she knows she can do anything! there’s so much hope for her already, she’s not even big enough to hold it all. she will be!! and i cant wait.

hopefully i’ll spoil her along the way. and get her dirty. and teach her to color outside the lines. and throw conformity to the wind. and to love herself, for herself. oh my darlin you have no idea!!! love love love.

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One Response to “tiny hope”


  1. I was reading your post Lana and the part where you said:”i was looking at her, and wishing already that she didn’t have to grow up. that we could just take care of her forever. that she would never have to get hurt, or struggle. that she wouldn’t have to deal with boys or insecurities or worry about a job”,Grow up is a struggle and there are time and please excuse my french,growing up at time is gonna hurt like hell,but when she grows up and i pray that she comes to know the Lord. the Day niece come to know the Lord and has Jesus in her heart ,she can cast her burdens on him and not to say that after excepting Jesus in your heart that she is not gonna still have struggles she will,but she can have peace know that her heavenly father is not gonna let her go through a situation alone.Lana I will tell you there are days that it is rough form me ,and there are days that i look back and am just amazed to see what the Lord has carried me through ,and there are days I feel so weighted down and it a drag to put one foot in front of the other.I have stuff that I wish i could have been shielded from ,and the Lord used those situation to help me understand other and where they are coming from. Give you niece a big kiss on the forehead for me


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